


To Regret Would be Illogical

by bluechaostamer



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fem! Leonard McCoy, Lenore McCoy - Freeform, Male!Natira, One-Sided Attraction, Sad, Spock walking Lenore to the alter, bittersweet humor, bones you picked the wrong one, but not as a spouse, omg why did I do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 01:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9575531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluechaostamer/pseuds/bluechaostamer
Summary: Spock leading Lenore to the alter before she marries off to Natira. His thoughts. I don't know why I chose to write this tragedy, but here you have it.





	

There is no regret if one applies the ruling of logic. Therefore, regret would be illogical and should be cast aside. He repeats this to himself as he stands before the chapels of a Terran church, with the only person he would ever love.

“Lighten up, Spock,” Lenore whispered happily elbowing him. He turned around to look her over. Her long simple dress washing over her figure smoothly; like a cascade of mercury. She had long sleeves and the dress could be very well be old-fashioned in Terran standards; she had stated that the dress had been passed down for generations. She was always very traditional to her Southern roots. Past the oblique lace veil covering her face could be seen her bright blue eyes. Excited and full of glee.

_There is no remorse if emotion does not command._

She laced her arm around his and place her other hand on the joint of his elbow. She nodded at him.

“Are you ready?” He whispered gently to her. “Never been more ready in my life,” she replied smoothly.

_There is no pain if one does not feel._

They walked the steps of isle. Jim stood along with the other men and the maids of honor. Jim smiled wistfully at the two. Scotty came after him, followed by Sulu, and finally Chekov. Across from them were Uhura, Chapel, and Janice all lovely in their blue dresses. Lenore had stated that she had wanted all her friends to wear something beautiful, and it shouldn’t matter ‘who looks the most beautiful’ because Kirk was always stealing limelight anyway.

He guided the love of his life to the front of the Chapel. This would be the moment he would remember for the rest of his life. For these were the last moments she did not officially belong to another. She was not for him, as she was for Natira. The man who was standing at the altar. The man whom she would be married off to.

He was simply walking her down the aisle as a stead for her father, whom had passed long ago. It was no doubt something of the highest respect coming from the woman, and he accepted it with stride. How could he say no?

He permitted himself one luxury, “You look very lovely.”

Lenore chuckled, “Leave it to you, Hobgoblin, to only bring out the grade-A compliments in a once in a lifetime moment,” she gave him an earnest smile, “thank you.” He attempted to contain the pain in his chest. Would they continue to spar? Would they spend sleepless nights together reading journals and articles of their fields of study? Would she continue referring to him in the nicknames he had grown accustomed to knowing as forms of endearment?

“It is quite… tragic,” he let slip by accident.

“What is?” Lenore looked at him curiously.

_I am Vulcan._

He slowly raised one brow, “Why doctor, as you clearly know, I rarely ever refer to you by your last name. It will be quite the predicament for Natira that I do not advertise his family name when I mention you.”

The good doctor gave him an incredulous look, “Of all application of ‘tragic’, Mister Spock, that is bit of stretch, coming from you,” she gave a playful smirk, “But tell you what. I’m feeling particularly happy today, so I’ll let you win this time.”

_Do not. For I have won nothing._

“Today doctor? I do believe that I win 98.68 % of the time,”

Lenore almost tripped at the comment, “I beg your pardon?”

The Vulcan could not help himself, as they were halfway there, “Perhaps I may apply the term 'tragic' to the lack of point score in our verbal debates?”

_He would not cherish you as I._

“Listen here, Hobgoblin-“

_He would not devote his entire being to you as I._

“Pardon the interruption, doctor, but I would advise against making a scene at your wedding.”

_He would probably tell you he loves you several times over, but would they hold the same value as the ones I would demonstrate?_

“Dammit Spock, you only win arguments because you pull these kinds of stunts!”

_Does he know you in the same manner as I do?_

“You are… right, doctor.”

“No, you listen- wait what?”

“You are right, doctor, avoidance is a tactic in keeping one safe from harm. ‘Fight or flight’, I believe. I suppose that is what cost me something much more valuable.”

_You._

Lenore looked at him skeptically, “This is weird.”

Spock gave Lenore a gentle, but sad smile, “I believe the word is… wistful, doctor.”

_Regardless of any of this, even if things never changed, would they still feel the same?_

The both stopped at the steps. Natira beamed, adjusting his suit, and awaiting for his wife to climb the steps to her. Spock glanced at him for one second before he leaned forward and gently kissed Lenore on the forehead, surprising her. “I believe that fathers do this to their daughters before they pass off their most cherished to their future husband.”

The woman looked at him with large curious eyes, “Yes, many do…”

The Commander gave the Vulcan salute, “Live long and prosper, doctor.”

At this, Lenore straightened up and lifted her hand to give a perfect salute, “Peace and long life,” she replied with a proud smile. There was a moment of shock from Spock before he nodded in approval. As made his retreat to his seat, he glanced down at his hand.

_Oh doctor, you_ did _care._

**Author's Note:**

> Lenore probably spent hours perfecting that salute. Which what made that so bittersweet!
> 
> It's sad to think of the idea that Vulcans actually have more emotion to feel than humans. The fact that they use logic to shield off their inner demons is probably one of the more important aspects of their practice. And to think that Spock feels this love more than he can handle. It saddens me to think that he would forever have to contain it. Unless he finds another for himself. 
> 
> If it makes you feel better, Jim knows. And they will playing chess in silence after they leave the reception a little early due to a clever excuse from the Captain. Jim might even offer Spock hot chocolate while they play.


End file.
